Selfish

(20/4/2009, Monday)
Sorry for being so long never post the blog.
This few day, many things has happened.
U know wad happened on last night right?
Like I said to darling before, everytime I look into ur eye I will know ur mood.
Finally, u get to know how to determine my mood through my eye...
Although im cheering myself up, but my eye cant lie to u that im still not happy.
Juz like dar when not happy...

Today, I told u all the stuff abt last night...
I cried on that night...
I bet u sure feel heart pain, im sorry to let darling worry abt me.
Thx for dar willing be my listener, I feel alot better le.
Today is exam interversi and also exam week.
Too bad, I dun have time and the mood to study.
I done my sejarah paper bad, but moral after recess still ok la...

Darling come find me in the lab today,
I can feel that she is worrying me alot, she keep on alerting me.
I cant keep fall down wit my mood, I still have to be strong.
I took my moral, and revise as much as I can...
Thx darling for accompany me ^^

After school, I dint stay back, but I hope that she can accompany me more...
Darling's competition coming very soon le.
It is her last week of preparetion, win or lose judge in this Saturday le.
It's around the corner, I hope dar can do her best...
And best wishes to darling and her teammate who sacrifice alot of time for the competition.
Gambateh~~~



Well, now it's time to think abt things should do after the competition.
Dar has been left out alot in studies, she's very tired for staying back for training everyday.
Her skin also turn dark n black round 'eye become more deeper' le...
Not just lao gong worry abt u, ur parents worry abt u too~
According to my plan, I wanted dar to focus on study le.
I wanted to revise wit darling, not juz can help her, it helps me too...
Other unnecessary thing should let go already.
Come on, this is SPM, not UPSR or PMR anymore, this is FUTURE...
Form 4 is not a honey-moon year.

It's another trouble after the competition...

Hmm, wad is lao po thinking to do after the competition???
Before she sleep, she mentioned that SW called her through phone n chat alot of stuff.
She dropped her tears, maybe some words gan dong dao her ba.

Darling, now is the time u choose wad to be le...
Study, or Cocuricullum?
Yea, u no ren xin see ur fren suffer like that...
They xin ku, u also xin ku...
But help ppl also got limit de mah.
U already xin ku, y u still need to deep inside it?

When something make ur hand pain,
Will u let it pain until it produce a deep injuries?
U already feel pain le, u still put ur hand on the thing which can make ur hand pain and let it be?
U gotta let go of ur hand so u wont feel pain on it or even deeper injuries.
If u let go, maybe the injuries can be recover.
If u still not letting to, sorry to say ur injurie might getting more deep and at the end it cant be recover...


Yea, they have not enough ppl to help with the St John.
Do u think that ur study has left out?
Okay, U can help them, but wad's the reward of helping them???
Do they appriciate u? Do u have the power n energy to handle the position?
I know darling wanted to help them alot, but once u help, u bring down many things from u.
Sometimes, we must ukur baju di badan sendiri.
We dont have so big de head, we cant wear so big de hat...
Not to say u selfish or not, U really need to SAVE urself 1st before helping others.
Now u are in so cham de situation, u still need to help ppl o?

Let me ask u one question, because of friendship, u willing to sacrifice ur studies because of them.
Do it worth? How worth was it??? Do they reward u? Wad kind of reward u get???
We must be smart, since we dont have so much power to do so many thing.
Den we onli can be back ourself ba, dont give ppl '找笨'...
U can help, but u have ur coverage and limit of helping,
u can help in ur range which is wont affect ur studies de...
But not too over helping... U onli will suffer more n rugi onli.
Ur future is important.
Hope darling know wad u're doing right now...

I advice u to do like that because I had tried this before.
Last year I used to be safety officers of EyeConn, ExonMobil in our school.
The ppl which I dont like used to be my good buddy last time.
I voted n give idea to bring him up to be Deputy CEO.
I gave alot of idea for doing business.
It's a good idea, I dont know y they never appriciate and rejected my idea.
They onli think that wad they plan is perfect, my idea is a rubbish.
But at the end, they use back my idea and never thanked me before.

I am juz an Idiot in the club, because of them, I mostly wan to quit the club.
I know, I am a low position member, but they never respect me.
I'd drag out alot of time n go for meeting for discussion, they never respect my idea.
Even the logo I did it myself...Did I count from them? Never...
They are like using me as a idiot...
I left out of studies alot because of Athelic, Kadet Polis n mostly from the Eyeconn.
But wad I did got any return? Seriously no...
Did I get any rewards? Do they thanked me???
All no... Means that year I did alot of thing is juz for nothing...
I feel very regret that I'd wasted so much time in that year.
If last year i intend to focus on my study, I wont suffer in this year...
Now, I let go most of my cocurrikulum activity and focus more into my studies and lao po le.

Remember, this is not selfish...
This is juz to protect urself.
Im taking the responsibility as ur lao gong and give u positive advice.
All my words is for ur own good de.
Doesnt bring any harm on u...

我不想看到老婆跟我一样有这样的下场...
我所讲的东西全都是为你好,
我不想看到老婆再辛苦下去.
因为我很担心你,
我爱你...